There's nothing like keeping a blog for a person to realize how lame an uninsightful they are. In all fairness, I'm writing two books at present (1. An as of yet untitled effort for my YouTube audience and 2. A novel that I will eventually shop around to real publishers) and the stuff that winds up in this blog is just whatever is left over afterwards. I did come up with something fun to amuse you all though. Last night, I parked my ass in front of the television set and tried to determine the exact message of several commercials that were in rotation on Comedy Central. They were as follows:
1. Save money on car insurance with progressive, so that you can waste it on frivolous purchases that your wife doesn't know about.
2. If you play the game "Rock Band" for the Nintendo Wii, you will become as cool as the members of an actual band.
3. Anything that you do after midnight, other than going to Denny's, will turn out badly.
4. Red Bull Energy Drink will enable you to fly to Heaven for the purpose of exacting revenge on your recently deceased husband for leaving his fortune to his mistress rather than you and the two children you had with him.
5. Attractive people are all inexplicably using dating services, so your ugly ass had better get in on that action.
6. Penis Enlargement Pill (Extenz) is "scientifically proven" and if it didn't work then its makers could not possible afford to put its commercials on television.
7. Without a drug called ProGene, you will be a completely unsatisfactory lover. Graphs are presented to prove this fact.
8. With AutoZone, you can restore a shitty old car that you found on the side of the road to working condition if you work on it constantly for months on end.
Leave a comment if you enjoyed it.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Commercial Meanings
Posted by TL Kincaid at 9:29 PM
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15 comments:
There are two basic appeals that almost every commercial maintains: fear of sexual inadequacy ("you'll disappoint her if your dick isn't big enough") and fear of social inadequacy ("your friends won't respect you if you don't have HDTV").
Lol, love it :)
I thought the poll was funny. Much funnier than those dear TJ videos. Those aren't very funny, mainly because scotty seems to be trying to fit in with your style. If you really love your brother, tell him to stop fakely acting and start truely acting. I've messaged you about your movie scores, but you haven't replied. This is weird considering I'm your only friend on youtube (aside from Scotty. I'm his friend too).
Replying to the anonymous guy, I don't care about my dick size.
Instead of buying an HDTV, tell your "friends" to fuck off and keep your true friends. Purify your social life while you have one.
Dan14159
Funny thing is, I know exactly what commercials you're talking about! It's quite amusing to see what they are in their rawest, simplest statements.
Daniel:
There is a difference between categories and examples.
But overall, I agree with your post.
lol
an interesting not is that Freud's cousin or brother or something like that came to America and used his theories about sex to create the current fear of sexual inadequacy targeted adverts that were first used on tobacco products
anonymous...
I don't understand. What do you mean?
The commercial for the drug Lipozene is 1000x as bad as any of those commercials. Every time that commercial comes on my brain turns into a liquid, boiling FUCK.
"this pill is clinically proven to help you lose weight or we'll refund your purchase price."
Also it says that people lost 3.8 or something pounds over 3 months in the tinniest possible lettering in the corner.
its ridiculous.
Nobody likes you. You have no friends. You aren't going anywhere in life. Here's a pill to fix that.
That's a good technique, TJ: "Leave a comment if you enjoyed it." That way, you have no choice but to do so if you did. And I did.
I watch those commercials everyday mindlessly. It's about time someone sat down and analyzed the true message.
Wait...actually I was talking about them with some friends the other night. You know, since commercials are so interesting and all.
Great observations. I enjoyed it very much.
If you were watching Comedy Central, I'm surprised you didn't run into at least two "Girls Gone Wild" commercials. This is what I do late at night. I watch Comedy Central and/or you on YouTube.
very funny, thanks!
9. Watch uncensored Girls Gone Wild for jailbait and porn to have a Viagra-esque experience!
I'm surprised you never talked about that either.
That was amazing
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